where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
