I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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