I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize