Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im part way to drunk.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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