Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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