i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
