Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
