Where did you get a picture of my penis
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
