Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
