Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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