I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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