Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
