question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
