at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
