it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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