Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
