Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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