Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Let's get the cat blown out
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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