PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
