I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
