your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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