i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
