Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
