When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
