Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Let the clothes fall where they may.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
