two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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