a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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