I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
As shirtless as possible
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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