Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
