Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
whose parrot is this?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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