I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Found your dick twin last night
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
