She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
