so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
