The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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