wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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