Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
