Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
