this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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