There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
