yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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