man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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