Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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