if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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