She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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