saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
