Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
