Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
