About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
