apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
