but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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