I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pants are for mortals
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize